Hurt
by Red Eyed Cajun
Summary: Time has passed since Remy LeBeau became Death and now he returns to a place he once called home, to someone he considered the love his life and to his downfall, but is he the same man?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: i dont own anything and i'm not making a profit.

A.N: I got this idea from listening to the song "Hurt". Good song. This story is set after Apocolypse turned Gambit into his Horseman Death.

It Hurts.

It wasn't supposed too, but it did. I wasn't supposed to feel anything, but I did. Something went wrong and now it hurts more than ever. I wanted to kill, I wanted to see them writhing in pain in front of me, I wanted to be able to feel and see that last bit of breathe escape from their bodies.

I wanted to see, her, on the ground lying before me, like that cold and unfeeling statue she was during life, perfected by Death another triumph that I could add to a list. But I couldn't.

It was too strong. Some I conquered; Happiness, Warmth, Belonging. I was fuelled by rage and hatred, vengeance and jealousy, I had no time for trivial emotions such as Happiness, it got in the way. But that woman and her emotion brought me down as easily as a house of cards.

She kept calling for him, 'come back t'a me, please come back'

I couldn't understand what she wanted with him, but at the same time the blows I sent her way held some restraint that I couldn't fight. When I saw another man grab her arm and pull her away he was relieved. I couldn't live with this man in me. He was remembering, and those memories floated to me as well, and then, my downfall came.

Jealousy.

Who was this man? This man that takes away such a perfect kill? I could not admit to myself that I saw her as anything else, but Jealousy, it was there, deciding my every move. I thought I could control him, but he was controlling me, he was using his emotions to make me weak and it hurt. It hurt.

I couldn't go on like this. It had to stop, I would destroy my last bit of humanity and in doing so I would regain my control. And to destroy him, I had to destroy his Love.

I went there. To a place I once called home. I killed anyone that got in my way and I looked for her. He was still making me feel, but I was determined to be rid of him.

I found her. Crying, and for a moment I wanted to drop my staff and comfort her, she looked so frail and innocent. She didn't understand why he did it. It wasn't for power, it wasn't to be noticed, it wasn't to rise above them, it was out of Love. Love for her, Love for his friends and for a world.

The other man would never consider himself a brave man. When he looked in the mirror all he saw was a coward and a traitor. A traitor?He wasn't betraying them, he was trying to help them. Keep your friends close your enemies closer. This enemy got too close though.

"R-Remy"

The other man. Sunfire showed me the way. I must destroy my attachments. I left him in Egypt with Sinister so that I could finally destroy my greatest attachment. Love. And finally I'll be free.

He's struggling within me, restraining my hand that grips the staff so tightly. He wont let me hurt her, he believes he's done that enough. I use his feelings, his emotions and his memories against me. Against her.

"Hello Chere"

The accent is still level, almost mechanical. But the words, the endearment, works and she relaxes. I smile. And the other man screams.

"Yer, yer…" she says moving towards me.

"Human?" I say using his grin.

I was a fool to put my trust in Sinister. I thought he would see me and realise my true potential, instead he used his powers to reverse me back into this fragile state. I still had my power, but what made me Death had been torn from me. But now I see this bodies potential and I realise this mask, this façade is what will finally defeat my greatest enemy. She will trust me. No. She will trust him. And he knows it.

"This isn't real." she says, the tears still streaming down her face.

"But it is." I say moving closer to her and opening my arms.

"Yer voice"

"Will come back in time"

"Ah've missed ya so much." she says falling into my arms.

I hold her back. She's warm. Its feels different. It's comforting. No, this is him. He's the one that's in love with her. I cant possibly be feeling this. I am death I have no emotions. It hurts. He's laughing. Why?

"I…I missed you too Chere." I say. There are tears. There shouldn't be. He's still laughing. WHY!

"Ahm so sorry." she says pulling back slightly.

'Ma chere, ma clever chere, I love you so much,' he shouts in my head.

"Why?" "Yer not ma Remy"

It Hurts.Not the punch. Not the knife in my gut. Not even that feeling of death creeping on you, a feeling I've inflicted on so many other people.

None of that.

What have I become?

Death? No emotion? Never loved, always hated?

Was I really any different from this other man?

He was a Traitor. He Brought Death. Did he really have any emotion?

Maybe not.

But he was Loved.

Who could ever love Death,

And it Hurts.


	2. Here's Daddy

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. 

"This is Suicide"

I hate it when she's right. I hate it when any stuck up X-man thinks that they're right. But more often than not, they usually are right. And that bruises an ego let me tell you that.

"Don't be ridiculous." I say making sure that the jet is on the right course while secretly kicking myself for making the ultimate mistake of disagreeing. That's jinxing the whole thing.

"You take one step into that mansion and they are going to pull out the big guns on you." she says making that annoying popping sound with her gum.

She was right again. The X-men had no reason to trust me. I trusted them, they were always so wonderfully reliable. Then again. How many other members of the 'evil' community had they embraced into their home. Enough for them to start their own support club. 'Hello my name is Magneto and I'm an evil mutant' and all that crap. But for me, they would probably make an exception and just blast me away.  
Not that I care. I hate the X-men. But for my own reasons its things like that, that are just going to have to change.

"That's why you're the one that's going in to get him." I said grinning.

"No way. Don't even think of it. Do you know how hard its been to not go back there! I go in there and they're gonna be all over me, telling me to come back"

"Just tell them who you're working for"

"Then they'll kill me." she said sitting back in her chair and huffing. Then that smile played across her lips, "Unless, unless Remy's already killed them all"

"Gambit is not that powerful, there is no way he could take out all of the x-men"

"Ooh. Jealous are we? But sure, Remy couldn't take out all of the X-men, but Death could. You're forgetting that Apocalypse designed him for that purpose. He designed all of us for that purpose"

There was a hint of remorse in her voice there.

Lorna Dane had been an interesting turn of events. After conning Sunfire and Gambit back to his base in London, Lorna had turned up. The transformation had scared her, luckily not physically, but emotionally. She had regained her humanity herself but there was still parts of her that hadn't changed and she needed help. She needed help from someone else that had been in her shoes, someone who wasn't an X-man, someone who wouldn't judge her. And she found me.

She was more than a little shocked to find out that rather than manipulating Sunfire and Gambit into doing my bidding I had began to help them throw off the shackles of slavery that Apocalypse had 'bestowed' upon them. Sunfire was easy, after all Apocalypse had given him what he wanted most, to be able to walk again. All it took was to make him realise this. It would still be a while before he was 'Normal' again, but like Lorna, he was getting there.

Gambit however, he had been much more difficult. At best he was only a half horseman who still had memories of his previous life. I thought this impossible however I found that what had happened was the machine had created a new separate personality to the man, Remy LeBeau. In an effort to bring out the Original personality I devised my own machine. However, things did not exactly go to plan. It did bring forth the original personality of Remy LeBeau, but he still wore the body of Death, and the other personality was still there, that of death, that only appeared in Remy's true form. Death would only appear in moments of stress and anger, but recently he had been becoming stronger, even with my constant help he still became stronger. Leading to our situation.

"Why are you doing this anyway? The way I see it, Death destroys the X-men, no more problems for you. Why not just let him do it?" she asks in that logical almost mechanical voice. A result of Acoloypses work.

'Because Remy would never forgive himself, or me.' I thought to myself.

"Which begs the question," she continued, "Why help any of us? We were all X-men, why help us if you hate them so much? What suddenly possessed you to become a changed man"

"I got a soul. I'm on a mission of redemption, to help the helpless"

"You watch too much Buffy, Sinister"

"Angel Lorna, its Angel." I say noting that the jet was getting closer to the mansion.

Well that shut her up. Well, in the sense that it got her ranting about which was better but at least it got her off that other topic.

How long would it be before they really asked me why?

How long would it be before they finally got the answer from me?

Sunfire; because he was in the right place at the right time.

Lorna; she caught on a good day.

For my own reasons I had to begin on a path of redemption.

I had my reasons.

Gambit; A father will always care for his son.


End file.
